Thursday, June 30, 2011

Time...

"Look Auntie Dani, I have a train and I'm standing!"


I never told him he could...he just did it anyway.  "Get big" that is.  I tell him from time to time, "I didn't tell you you could be this big.  I didn't tell you to grow up yet."  And yet, he's crawling, pulling up, cruising along furniture, has two teeth, and is cutting four more.

When I was pregnant, soooo many people told me to enjoy every second because it would go by so quickly.  I thought, "yeah, yeah" but WOW, guess what guys?  It has gone by SO quickly.  I swear he was just my newborn that snuggled and slept (and nursed) all day in my arms.  I didn't know it would make my heart a little sad to see him grow up so darn fast!  However, I also look forward to what's to come...for my sweet fella to take those first steps, wave bye-bye, and learn to dance, sing, and talk.  He is now saying "bye" (sometimes it's "bye," sometimes "bye-bye," and sometimes, "uhh-bye!").  I love him so.  Being a Mama fills me with unearthly joy.  I always knew I wanted to be a Mama.  It was a much harder path to get there then I ever imagined it would be and harder then I realized it would be, but Man-is the payoff BIG.  That smiling face instantly melts away any negative thoughts or feelings that I may be having.  There hasn't been a day that was all bad since he's been born. 

I've started thinking about his first birthday and planning a little.  I can't believe that it's already time to think about it! 

We planned on putting Caleb in his crib after a couple of months.  He was going to nap in his crib and sleep at night in his crib.  Um, it never happened.  Not really.  We didn't plan on co-sleeping but it's what we've done for bedtime and often during naptime also.  It works.  I would be away from him all day.  Cuddling at night was our way of reconnecting.  I nurse him to sleep and usually surf the internet on my phone and occasionally kiss his cheeks, hold his hand, stare at him until I decide I should've been asleep an hour ago...

We decided it was time.  That he needs to be in his crib.  That he can do it now.  So for about a week we did our routine at naps and bedtime.  We sang "I'm a little acorn," read a few books, nursed, laid him in the crib and let him cry.  Ugh.  No fun.  At all.  My child refuses, and I mean flat out refuses, to just LAY down.  So usually after an hour-ish this is what would happen...

Yep, he's asleep alright.  Slouched over, head against the rails.  I would watch his little back to make sure he was inhaling and exhaling and within two hours (at the most) he would be awake.  So after about a week of this, this is where we ended up...
Sorry, for the darkness of the photo.  If you can't tell, he's snuggled up next to me, sleeping peacefully.  I don't know where to go from here.  I'd like for Caleb to at least nap on his own in the crib.  But I'm not sure either of us are really ready to give up co-sleeping at night.  At least not quite yet.


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